We recently celebrated Mother’s Day, and no matter who you are, you came from a mother, are a mother, or know a mother.

Being a mother is one of the most important, yet often unrecognized jobs in the world. It also is one of the most normalized stresses of life. This can leave new mothers feeling inadequate or unprepared for the enormous responsibility they will carry.

Studies have shown being a full-time mother is equivalent to 2.5 full-time jobs. Talk about stress! And even more profound is the realization that being a parent is not the same as having a parent. Let that one sink in for a minute.

Parental responsibilities Being a parent involves daily responsibilities: waking children up, making breakfast, packing lunches, doing laundry, and so many more tasks.

But having a present parent means having someone who kisses a child’s boo-boos, holds a child for hours when they’re sick (even though they may be sick, too), loses sleep just to make sure a child is still breathing, or comforts a child if they experience a break-up. It’s someone who teaches you how to communicate and how to be assertive and respectful, so their child can become a kind and contributing member of society.

Being a present parent requires so much more, and the emotional energy it takes to navigate these struggles can feel like more than 2.5 full-time jobs.

The emotional connection May was also Maternal Mental Health Month, a time to recognize and support the emotional challenges mothers face as they strive to stay connected and emotionally present for their children.

While dads and other caregivers also play vital roles in a child’s life, let’s take a moment to celebrate the moms here.

It starts with the very first interaction between a mother and their infant. This can be as soon as the moment a woman realizes she’s pregnant. That’s when the “dancing” starts, and the rates and rhythms of mother and child become synchronized.

Continuing with the dancing analogy, this timeframe is one of the most important dances, and it requires a strong lead to experience and endure the missteps that can and will occur throughout development.

Mothers must learn quickly to adapt to their dance partner. They learn to soothe and become sensitive to the needs of the infant and the family for the most optimal outcome. A mother’s ability to quickly pivot — whether from a dyad to a triad, from a single daughter to a mother, or through countless other shifts within a family system — is essential as the lead.

Mental health matters Research confirms maternal mental health is an important influence on a child’s development. A mother’s positive mental health status is key to constructing better perinatal growth, birth outcomes, behavioral development, academic achievement, and socioemotional functioning. The World Health Organization defines maternal mental health as “a state of wellbeing in which a mother realizes her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to her community.” No pressure, right?

Maternal stress impacts the dance between mother and infant even in utero. We know there are many risk factors that place stress on mothers, such as genetics, family history of mental health, environmental, socioeconomic, lack of support, and trauma exposure.

According to Zero to Three, biological stress/distress during pregnancy raises cortisol levels and elevated cortisol levels in utero can change the way the placenta operates. This, in turn, can re-wire the brain circuitry and increase children’s sensitivity to stress. It can increase risks to later developing neurodevelopmental issues, such as mood disorders and other cognitive delays.

These prenatal and postnatal stressors can make it harder for mothers and infants to find their rhythm, creating barriers to secure attachment and lifelong healthy relationships. According to the Maternal Mental Health Alliance, suicide is the leading cause of maternal death in the first postnatal year.

So how can we help?

1. Reduce stigma — Talking about maternal mental health early and often can break down the barriers of shame and guilt so a parent can feel okay for not being okay and needing more support.
2. Offer resources — Let moms know they aren’t alone. Screen for maternal mental health. Provide opportunities for more comprehensive care, resulting in better outcomes for the mom and baby.
3. Be understanding — Remember that reducing this stress takes understanding and support from other mothers, friends, partners, and other family members. Feeling isolated or alone in these emotional times can cause maternal mental health to spiral. There is so much occurring physically and emotionally that support systems are often crucial for the optimal well-being of mom and baby.

Even though Mother’s Day has passed, be sure to take the time to show appreciation to those mothers in your life in whatever capacity they serve. Appreciate their physical, mental, and emotional strength and perseverance. “Cut in” on their dance and let them take off those dancing shoes for just a moment.

Resources Here are some resources to support you or your loved ones through what can be challenging times: • NAMI’s Navigating a Mental Health Crisis • Postpartum Support International • Health Resources & Services Administration Maternal & Child Health Bureau